Big Brother: Anistyle
by PowerPen
Summary: The Animorphs and several yeerks are forced to live in the same home, with devastating, yet hilarious, results.
1. Prolouge

**FULL HOUSE**

**A/N: **I know that there is a TV show like this, (Not full house), but I just can't put my finger on it. So if you think of the name of it, could you please tell me? I'll then rename the story that.**  
**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own jack.

Bellow us, the battle raged on.

The living, the dying, and the dead, all of their lines twirling and twisting around one another to make the fabric of battle. I was focused on six particular strings, flickering and glowing dimly, but still glowing nonetheless.

It was the same show all the time. Cryak and I would push and pull our opposing strings together, and every time my six strings would continue to glow while his spluttered out. Cryak's advantage was that he had far, far many more strings than I did. Constantly, we watched the strings tangle and tangle, Me hoping that my strings wouldn't fizzle out and die, Cryak wishing for at least one of my strings, the string that he loathed, to fall, to darken, to die.

It was a chess game on a universal scale. A game of wits and risks and strategy, where the slightest wrong move would compromise the fate of the galaxy. It was a long, drawn out battle, one requiring intelligence and patience. Unfortunately, I did not have enough of the latter.

'Cryak, I am bored.' I said. Cryak slowly swung his bulging red eye towards me and looked at me.

'Strange.' He muttered. 'For I also weary of this game. I am longing to play something else.'

'That can be arranged.' I said. 'Though I do not want my carefully selected army to go to waste.'

'The new game must be exciting.' Cryak said. 'Football? We can make up our own rules, and perhaps call it, er, Hyper-ball?

'No.' I said, pondering our situation. It would have to be something that both of our armies stood a chance of winning. We could both rely on the emotional irrationality of the opposing team. 'I have a better idea…'

**----------------------------------------------------**

The Hork-Bajir's bladed fist slowed, slowed, stopped. Inches from skinning Jake alive.

(What happened?) Marco asked, struggling out from under a pile of frozen Hork-Bajir. (Not that I'm complaining or anything.)

Ax walked daintily to Jake's side, stalk eyes forming a frown. (Ellimist.) He hissed. (I sense that time has stopped flowing. Who else could it be except him?)

**IT COULD BE ME.**

(Aw, man.) Rachel grumbled, accidentally-on-purpose squishing a Taxxon as she lumbered to stand protectively next to Cassie. (What do _you_ want?)

**I WANT TO FORCE YOU TO DO SOMETHING. **

(Isn't that supposed to be 'Offer you a deal'?) Marco said angrily. (You know, so you can pretend like we were offered a choice?)

**ELLIMIST AND I HAVE MADE A DEAL. WE HAVE AGREED TO DROP ALL PRETENSE CONCERNING INFERIOR SPECIES FREE WILL. YOU HAVE NO FREE WILL. YOU ARE OUR PAWNS.**

(You can't do that!) Cassie said indignantly. (No matter what, we'll always have free will! We'll live free or die!)

**I'M SORRY, YOU DON'T HAVE THAT CHOICE.**

Jake stepped forward. (Listen, you're going to make us do whatever it is that you want whether we want to or not, so just cut the crap and do it.)

**FINE.**

Instantly, they were in a living room of a modest two-story house. A fireplace, leather couches, and a coffee table with several standard magazines. Jake was sitting in a big chair, like that one that fathers love to rest in after work. Everyone else was situated around the living room, sitting upon various pieces of furniture.

(IN THE NAME OF THE KADRONA, WHAT IS GOING ON?) A voice roared from upstairs. A voice that they all knew oh-too-well.

There was a small popping noise, and several people appeared downstairs. Visser three, Visser one, Iniss, Tom, Taylor, and a teenage girl they didn't recognize. The Animorphs leapt up, caught off guard.

"They've seen us out of morph." Rachel hissed to Jake. "We have to take them out here and now."

Jake was about to nod his agreement, when Visser three arched his tail, all of his eyes looking around wildly. (Friend or foe?)

Cassie stepped forward, arms held wide. "Friend. Hello, Visser Three."

"Wow, another andalite controller!" Iniss said eagerly, and rushed forward to shake Ax's hand. "Pleased to meet you!"

Ax lost it. FWAPP!

"Ax!" Jake snapped, as Iniss grew pale and the tail blade quivered dangerously close to his throat.

(I-I cannot move my tail!) Ax exclaimed.

I DO NOT WANT YOU TO LOSE THE GAME BEFORE IT EVEN BEGINS.

Ellimist's old man guise appeared, along with the big red eye of Cryak. Rachel sucked her teeth loudly.

"What. Did. You. Do. Now?" She growled.

**WE GREW BORED.**

(Did you know?) Tobias sighed wearily. (Fine. What idiotic game do we have to do know?)

IT IS FAR FROM IDIOTIC. IT IS A GAME OF SUBTLE PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATION.

"Like Bird-Boy said, Idiotic." Marco interjected.

IT IS A GAME OF SUBLTE PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATION! THE RULES ARE THESE. NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE, NO MATTER WHAT.

Ax, always thinking logically, interrupted. (But I require to feed upon grass. There is no grass to be found in this dwelling, correct?)

**HAH! THOSE ARE THE RULES, ANDALITE!**

Ellimist raised an eyebrow at Cryak.

MUST I REMIND YOU THAT VISSER THREE REQUIRES FEEDING TOO?

Ellimist and Cryak muttered for a quick second, then nodded.

**VISSER THREE AND AX ARE ALLOWED OUTSIDE, UP TO THE PICKET FENCES.**

Visser one glared at the Animorphs. "So I'm stuck here with the Andalite Bandits, Temrash, Iniss, Aftran, Taylor, and this Dapsen of a Visser?"

THAT IS CORRECT.

(ANDALITE BANDITS? _THESE_ ARE THE ANDALITE BANDITS? _HUMANS_?) Visser Three bellowed, jabbing his tail accusingly at the Animorphs. (MERE _HUMANS_?)

"Told you so." Tom muttered, frowning at Jake.

(Wait a minute-) Visser Three said, hitting upon an important piece of information. (YOU KNEW? YOU KNEW WHO THE ANDALITE BANDITS WERE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?)

"Yes, I did." Visser one said. "What, you expected me to _share_ that information with you?"

(YES, I DID!) Visser Three yelled, turning magenta with rage. (WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS OATMEALY DID YOU NOT TELL ME?)

"Oh, hmm, a certain trial comes to mind..." Visser one said poisonously.

(A trial that you should have been convicted for!) Visser three bellowed. (Treason! Treason! The earth could have been conquered years ago! I'll tell the council! I'll tell Garoff! By the kandrona, I'll tell the Emporer! You are my witness, Iniss!)

Iniss, who had been trying to edge away, looked up.

"Um, sir.." He began, shooting frightened looks at Visser one and Visser three. He wiped his brow, which had become very sweaty. "Um, of course you would probably might want to maybe convict Visser one, except not particularly very really soon now, because in the large picture of things at the moment and/or scheme of things, It perhaps might not happen to be an ultimately advantageous maneuver, as your already unstable relationship should most likely probably not have to suffer under the strain of the intensely high tension of another trial before the council of thirteen. Maybe."

Both Vissers looked puzzled as they tried to sort through what Iniss had just said.

Marco, however, had tears of admiration in his eyes. "I think that was the most beautiful masterpiece of pure B.S I've ever heard. Sir, you're my hero."

Iniss looked taken aback. "Well, uh, thank you, Mr. Andalite Bandit."

"You know, we were just informed that we have to live in a house indefinitely with our worst enemies." Jake said. "Something tells me we should be more concerned."

"Oh, you should be." Taylor giggled insanely. "You should be."


	2. Battle for the Bedrooms

_Three bedrooms. _

_Tewlve people. _

_Chaos ensued. _

(The master bedroom is ours!) Visser 3 declared, standing in the doorway and swishing his tail back and forth dangerously.

"It's ours, Visser." Jake growled, flanked by a gorrila and a grizzly bear. "I don't want this to get violent."

(I do.) Rachel said, showing a mouthful of sharp teeth. Taylor rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

(Yeah, well you haven't seen what that arm of Taylor's can do.) Marco said, shifting his weight from leg to leg.

(Everyone, chill.) Tobias said. (There's a bigger issue. There are three bedrooms, so that means four people in each room. Someone's going to be bunking with the enemy.)

"Hmm, yes, that is true." Visser one said calmly. "I suggest Visser here, and three of your toughest warriors."

The teenage girl on the yeerk side stiffled a giggle.

(How about you and the bear?) Visser three said icily. (That would certainly be _entertaining_.)

"Cassie," Jake asked. "Who do you think would be least likely to murder each other in their sleep?"

Cassie looked at everyone appraisingly. After a few minutes, she gave Jake a helpless look. "I just don't know. Sorry."

"I want a room to myself!" Taylor said. Tobias looked at her, and his eyes somehow managed seemed to grow more fierce.

(Dream on, sister.) Rachel growled, standing in the doorway.

"Let's negotiate an arrangement that will accomodate everyone." Cassie said placatingly.

"Move!" Taylor said, in a slightly whiny voice, like a spoiled teenager. She puched futilely against Rachel's bulk.

Rachel pushed her none-too-gently away, Tom and Iniss looking on with interest.

Taylor changed from her spoiled brat teenager act into her twised freak from hell act in an instant, like a switch had just been flipped. Or, more accurately, like a detonation trigger had been pressed.

"I said move!" She growled, stomping her foot and spraying Rachel in the face with a liquid from her arm. Rachel bellowed in pain, and batted a paw blindly at her.

"Rachel, no!" Cassie yelled, as Taylor went sprawling onto the floor. Visser three yelled and leapt at Rachel, tail flashing.

Ax, who had been quietly listening to the discussion with interest, swung his blade at Visser one. He held it an inch from her neck.

(Freeze, or Visser one's head shall be... removed... from...) Ax trailed off as he realized he had probably chosen the wrong yeerk. Visser three paid absolutely no attention to the threat of Visser one's beheading.

Fwaapp!

Rachel roared and slammed into the doorway, missing her front paw. Her vision was still pretty much non-existant, but grizzlies don't use sight that much anyway. She twisted her head towards the scent of Visser three, reared up on her hind legs, and delivered a blow to his back.

Visser three stumbled, and Marco took the opportunity to jump onto his back. Visser three spun around in circles, trying to get a good hit at him with his tail. With Marco hanging off of his shulders, his tail couldn't get enough speed to do any real damage.

(Iniss, Temrash, get him!) Visser three snapped. Tom and Iniss hesitantly drew dracon beams and started firing carefully.

"Battle morphs!" Jake yelled. He was about to run down the hall to find a place to morph, then remembered that there was no need. He turned to Ax and Tobias, while orange fur sprouted from his face. "Get in the fight!"

Visser one leaned against the wall, looking at the fight with interest.

"You want to look out for those grizzly claws." She said. A moment later, Iniss went flying past her and crashed though the bathroom door.

TSEEW! Tom fired his dracon beam at Marco.

(Augh!) Marco yelled, clutching a burn on his chest and tumbling off of Visser three.

"Ouch." Visser one said. "Might want to get that looked at."

Cassie shoved past Visser one and stepped between them all. "STOP IT!"

A sudden calmness and instant stillness failed to settled over the room.

(That's not how you do it.) Jake said privately to Cassie. (Allow me.)

A tiger landed next to Cassie, and let loose a ferocious roar that shook the house to it's foundation. Visser one clutched her ears, and Tom fell backwards onto his rear end. Eveybody else froze in place.

(They're all yours.) Jake said privately. Cassie nodded and stepped forward.

"You are going to stop it." She repeated in a quieter voice. "You are going to stop it, and you are going to stop it _right_ _now_. Demorph."

Marco and Rachel shamefully melted into their human bodies, looking down at their feet.

"Sit down." She said. "We are going to work out the bedrooms, right here."

Cassie helped Iniss and Taylor sit up, and everyone else sank hesitantly to the floor.

"I _said_ sit down." Cassie said to Visser three and Ax, who were still standing.

(Cassie, Adalite physiology is not designed-) Ax began, but Visser three interrupted.

(Sitting down in this host body is impossible, foolish human.) He snapped, arkwardly saying the 'foolish human'. He was still getting used to the fact that the 'andalite bandits' were human.

"Sit. Down." She said dangerously. "_Now_._" _

Ax and Visser Three, with pained expressions on their faces, bent their hind legs and rested their weight on the knee joint. This was as close to sitting as they were likely to get.

Cassie looked at them all carefully for a full five minutes. Nobody dared to utter a sound.

"You two," She said finally, pointing at the teenage girl and Tobias. They both glanced sharply at her.

"You two agree on the rooms for everybody." She said. "Does everyone trust their judgement?"

Visser three raised a stalk eye, but didn't say a word.

"Fine." Cassie nodded and pointed towards the stairs. "Go downstairs and don't come up until you've worked out room arangement."

Tobias fluttered wordless down the stairs. The teenage girl followed him.

Visser three leaned forward, his eyes unfocused. There was a small whimper from downstairs, and Ax narrowed his eyes at him.

(Visser three is privately speaking to the yeerk with the youthful female host!) Ax exclaimed aloud. (If I know Visser three, he is threatening her.)

"You had better stop it." Cassie warned.

Visser three smiled semi-pleasantly with his eyes. (Stop what? I am not doing anything at all. If you-)

Visser one smiled sweetly. "I suggest that you listen to her. Unless, of course, you find that the knowledge of you being intimidated by a human child spread throughout the empire completely unhumiliating. Then by all means continue."

(We are cutoff from the empire, dapsen. You couldn't do it even if you wanted to.) Visser three sneered.

Visser one raised an eybrow. "I have my ways."

(You're bluffing!) Visser three said.

"Would you care to take that chance?" Visser one asked.

Visser three glared, but stopped thought speaking.

It was a long and boring wait in the hallway. For about fifty minutes, the yeerks and the animorphs sat, only hearing occasional mutters drifting upstairs. One time, the voices escalated into yelling, though they only heard a few words.

(...I told you, There is no way in fiery...)

"...But they really need to..."

(...Are you trying to get me killed?)

"You? It would be me that they murdered..."

They both laughed, and returned to their normal whispering and private thought speak.

(Getting pretty friendly down there, aren't they?) Visser three said suspiciously.

"Yeah, they are." Rachel growled. Marco opened his mouth to respond, but was saved by Tobias fluttering up the stairs.

(Ok, we're decided.) he said. The teenage girl nodded.

"Whoopee." Marco said blandly. "Spill it, Birdboy."

(Esplin,) Tobias began. Visser three tensed despite himself. (Iniss, Jake, and me in that bedroom down the hall.)

Jake looked at Iniss and Visser three, and gritted his teeth. "Tobias-"

(Hey, it was either him or Temrash.) Tobias said.

"Temrash?" Jake looked puzzled.

(Oh yeah, sorry.) Tobias said. (She called them by their yeerk names so much I just got used to them. Iniss is Mr. Chapman, Temrash is Tom, Edriss is Visser one, and Esplin is Visser three.)

"Alright." Jake sighed. "Go on."

"Next is Edriss, Aximilli, Temrash, and Rachel in the master bedroom." The teenage girl said. Visser three slapped the ground angrily with his tail.

(She gets the master bedroom? And I sppose the bird just called him Aximilli so much you got used to it too?) Visser three sneered. The girl flushed red.

"Um-" The girl faltered.

Visser one shook her head. "This coming from the king of andalite lovers himself."

Cassie leapt in to interrupt any retort Visser three might have had. "So that's me, Taylor, Marco, and you in the geust room, right?" She questioned the girl.

The girl nodded. Marco dropped to his knees in front of Tobias.

(What are you doing, Marco?) Tobias asked amusedly, as Marco started groveling.

"Thank you, my feathered friend." Marco said, a note of deep reverence in his voice. "I owe you big. You have put me in the same room as the three babes."

(One who is currently taken.) Tobis pointed out. (And one who is a crazed psycho.)

"Hey, she's a _hot_ crazed spycho." Marco said, looking at Taylor appreciatively. "I'll take what I can get."

Taylor giggled insanely again.

"Although," Marco said, dropping his voice to a whisper. "Next time, do me a favor and put Rachel in the room instead of her."


	3. Aftermath of the Battle for the Bedrooms

"What the hell is this?" Jake demanded furiously, staring angrily into the bedroom.

The bedroom was perfectly proportioned, 10 feet cubed. On the far wall were two windows, with a television and VCR wedged between them. A closet door was positioned to his right, and a single bare bulb hung from the ceiling.

Jake blinked twice, but the room failed to change. The carpet remained fluffy and purple, and the wallpaper remained pink and flowery. The curtains were pink with purple spirals, and the beds were radiating feminism from every thread in its fabric.

He could handle all of this. What he couldn't handle was the fact that the number of beds added up only to two.

"What the hell?" Jake bellowed again, staring at the pair of beds. He stared desperately around, as if hoping two more beds would magically come into existence.

(What the hell what?) Visser 3 said, walking into the room. He looked around, his four eyes widening in horror. (Oh, hell no.)

(I suppose it's safe to assume something hellish is going on?) Tobias asked. He flew into the room behind Iniss, coming to a landing on top of a purple dresser with puppy stamps all over it. He quickly took in the two beds, but revealed no emotion. (Oh.)

(Oh? Oh?) Visser 3 spat, waving his hands and tail in anguish. (This décor is not fit for any self-respecting male, let alone a Visser! It's an outrage!)

"The décor? Look at the beds!" Jake roared, raging animatedly. "This is horrible! It's-"

"Visser 3 and the bird don't need a bed, do they?" Iniss asked timidly. Jake paused in mid-rant. The excess color drained from his face.

"Oh." He sighed in relief. "Oh, yeah."

(Oh, yeah nothing!) Visser 3 screamed. (Do you not have any masculine pride? Do you have no dignity? I _refuse _to sleep in this female excuse for a room!)

"There's always the bathtub." Jake said coldly. Visser 3 whirled to face him.

(Oh no. I hope this is the only room with two beds.) Tobias said worriedly.

Visser 3 paused in mid tail-swing, and his face lit up with unsuppressed glee. (Oh no? Oh, yes! Let's check up on the others, shall we?)

Jake nodded and hurried out of the room, Visser 3 and Iniss right behind him. Sliding to a stop in front of the master bedroom, he started pounding on the door. Thumps and shout echoed from within.

"Is everything all right in there?" Jake yelled.

(How are you doing, Andalite bandits?) Visser 3 asked excitedly.

"We're fine!" Rachel snapped quickly. "I can handle it."

Jake hesitated. "Are you sure? This is no time to be gung ho."

(Yes, are you positive?) Visser 3 said. (Temrash, how are you holding up? Is Visser 1 still alive?)

(We have it under control.) Ax said tersely, and Tom let out a scream. Jake sighed and ran to the guest bedroom, while Visser 3 assured himself that his chief of security wasn't being murdered.

Jake, Tobias, and Iniss ran/flew down the hallway, forcing themselves through the narrow space until they reached the guest bedroom.

"Open up!" Jake demanded, knocking loudly. The only response was a loud crash from behind the door.

Iniss walked up behind Jake. "Open this door right now!" He said, in his authoritative Vice-Principal voice.

When nothing happed, Jake flung open the door. Screaming and yelling met him as he marched in. In the room were two beds, both disheveled wrecks. Cassie was yelling in an un-Cassie like way and rolling around in a sea of tangled blue covers with Taylor. Taylor was swiping at Cassie with her normal arm; her robotic arm lay disconnected and forgotten underneath the dresser. Marco and the teenage controller both were balanced hazardously upon a landslide of bed bottoms and mattresses, wielding pillows and trading stinging blows.

(Hey!) Tobias yelled. (Stop!)

Cassie and Taylor jerked their heads upwards, while Marco and the girl fell off of their pile and crashed through the bed frame out of sight.

"What is going on in here?" Iniss asked sternly. Taylor and Cassie leapt to their feet, looked guilty.

"They were fighting over me." Marco said, his voice coming out muffled from under the bed. Jake walked over wearily and started shifting mattresses around.

"Correction: We were fighting over _not_ having him." The girl yelled, also muffled. "In case you haven't noticed, there are only two beds."

"None of us want to – you know, share a bed with him." Cassie said.

"I do!" Taylor bellowed.

Everyone paused.

"No thank you, I like life." Marco snarled, pulling himself through the mattresses. He toppled out, missed Jake, and thumped onto the floor.

"You kids are going to settle this right now." Iniss said sternly.

"I don't want him!" The girl said, crossing her arms.

"Well I don't want him either!" Cassie said. "No offense, Marco."

"And I don't want her!" Marco said, pointing at Taylor. "Come on ladies, make up your minds!"

All four of them glared at each other. Jake and Iniss looked nervously at each other. Tobias ruffled his feathers and fluttered on top a bedpost in the middle of the room.

(Well.) He said, looking at Cassie and the girl and choosing his words carefully. (You all know that whoever doesn't get Marco is going to be sharing a bed with Taylor, right?)

They looked at each other, then simultaneously lunged forward and grabbed one of Marco's arms.

"I get him!" They both yelled, tugging on him. Marco got a lost, blissful look on his face, as if one of his lifelong dreams was being fulfilled.

_That was interesting_, Jake thought, leaving those four to resolve the sleeping arrangements, while secretly hoping that Cassie would lose. A minute ago he had been cooperating with Mr. Chapman, the man who had once told some Hork-Bajir to kill them and save the heads for identification.

Well, he was slightly on the wussy side. Jake suspected yeerks like Visser 3 would take more effort to get along with.

They both walked into the room, and saw Visser three angrily shredding the covers and pillows with his tail blade.

Much more effort. 


	4. Feud & Food

"Okay, so we managed to come to an agreement about the rooms." Marco said, flopping onto the couch. "That means _nothing_."

"We proved that yeerks and Animorphs can cooperate peacefully." Cassie said, sitting down in a chair.

"That wasn't exactly the most peaceful experience of my life." The girl said, gesturing to their assorted bruises and cuts. "I mean, I'd prefer if this didn't happen every other second-"

"But it's going to." Marco finished. "Maybe you didn't hear the Ellimist, but this is war. We are deciding the fate of our respective species here; peace just isn't on the agenda."

"I'm hungry." Taylor stated.

"But we don't have to fight!" Cassie said. "I mean, the three of us are getting along fine, right?"

"Yes, but the others aren't-" The girl began, but just then Visser 1 came tumbling down the stairs.

"Stupid daspen human female-" She growled, struggling to her feet. She blew her hair out of her face and glared at them. "Carry on."

Visser 1 scooped her dracon beam off of the floor and ran back upstairs. Marco, Cassie, and the girl exchanged looks and ran after her.

"We've been doing a lot of this lately." Marco puffed. Halfway up, Tom flipped screaming over the railing. Cassie and the girl both caught one of his arms, preventing him from further hurting himself.

"Yeah! That's right!" Rachel bellowed from above.

"Sheesh." The girl said. "You guys don't do anything halfway, do you? Is a fist fight just too easy?"

"Get your filthy hands off of me." Tom spat weakly, snatching his arm away from Cassie. "And you, shut up."

The girl let go of him, and he collapsed down the rest of the stairs.

"Hey!" Marco yelled, emerging into hallway. Visser 1 and Rachel were squared off in the middle of it, tugging on a twin mattress.

"It's mine!" Rachel growled.

"It's mine!" Visser 1 growled back.

"It's ours!" The girl yelled indignantly. Marco frowned.

"It is ours!" He said, looking at the covers hanging off of it. "We spent good time making that, you know!"

"Our room only has one bed!" Rachel grunted, yanking on the mattress.

Visser 1 yanked back. "And since I threatened to kill everyone in their sleep, they decided to give it to me. Which means that Temrash and this _animal _needed a place to sleep."

"So you just thought 'Hey, let's take Marco's bed'?" Marco demanded angrily.

"Yeah." Rachel said nonchalantly.

"Which, I may add," Marco added shrewdly. "I have already been in."

Rachel and Visser 1 simultaneously let it drop to the floor.

"Now I have to wash my hands." Rachel sneered.

"Filthy humans." Visser 1 spat. They both dashed for the bathroom.

"That was easy." The girl said, grabbing one end of the bed. Marco and Cassie lifted the other end, and they carried it back to their room.

"I'M HUNGRY!" Taylor screamed from downstairs.

(SHUT UP!) Visser 3 bellowed from somewhere in the house.

"BUT I'M _HUNGRY_!" She screeched. They suddenly heard the sound of several feet and a pair of hooves thundering down the stairs.

Cassie and the girl looked at each other.

"Argh! I hate that look!" Marco said, throwing up his hands. "Sure, why not? Let's go downstairs and take on Visser 3 while we're at it. I swear, none of us is going last the night."

They both dropped the mattress and hurried downstairs, Marco trailing a few feet behind them.

"Hey, look." Marco said with fake enthusiasm. "Everybody's here. How cozy."

Taylor was on the corner of the couch, squealing and trying to protect herself from Visser 3. He was holding an armful of jars and batting them at her with his tail, which for some reason had shreds of fabric stuck to it.

(I though you were so _hungry_!) He bellowed, throwing a peanut butter jar at her. (Huh? Don't you want this food? Huh? DON'T YOU?)

Cassie ran over and grabbed his arm. "Visser 3, stop!"

Visser 1 turned the dial on her dracon beam to one, got a malicious look on her face and turned it to three, then shot Visser 3 in his rear.

(Arggh!) Visser 3 howled, dropping everything onto the floor and dancing around. (You pile of Gedd droppings, you know that's a sensitive area!)

The girl scrunched her face as explanations for exactly how Visser 1 knew this raced through her mind. She involuntarily shuddered.

"We are all going to eat dinner." Visser 1 said. "There will be no arguing and no fighting, because I for one have a headache and will personally kill anyone who makes the slightest sound. Got it?"

Everyone in the room nodded. Visser 3 glared at her for a moment, but Visser 1 pointed her dracon beam at him and he hurriedly nodded.

"What does everyone want?" She asked.

"Spaghetti." Rachel said immediately.

"I hate Spaghetti. Cheeseburgers." Taylor said.

"I'm a vegetarian." Cassie said. "How about pasta?"

(Well, I'm going to snag a mous-) Tobias began. (Wait, did Ellimist say I could go outside?)

"I don't know." Jake said, furrowing his brow. "I don't think he did."

(I'm a hawk. I need meat.) Tobias said.

"Just morph human to eat." Rachel said, shrugging.

(The food I eat in my human morph doesn't count for my hawk.) Tobias said worriedly.

(I'm going to eat my grass.) Visser 3 muttered stormily, heading for the front door. Ax stepped in front of it.

(The grass in front of this structure is far greener!) He said. (I refuse to eat behind it! The grass there is brown and sparse because of the lack of sunlight between 6:00 and noon!)

"I'm in a chicken kind of mood." Marco said. "Barbecued, not fried."

(Could somebody cook me some ground beef?) Tobias asked. (Unless somebody's seen a rodent around here?)

"Both of you, I just said I don't eat meat." Cassie said irritably.

(But I need meat!) Tobias said. (I couldn't eat vegetables if I tried.)

"I know what you mean." Jake sympathized.

"Tobias, you could stay human." Rachel suggested. "You know, to avoid dying."

"I'm hungry!" Taylor interjected.

(Rachel, I am not trapping myself in human morph!) Tobias exploded.

"I don't care, just give me something to eat." Tom growled. Cassie opened her mouth, and he glared at her. "That's not some veggie soy-based crap."

"But-" Cassie started.

"PIZZA!" Visser 1 yelled. Everyone fell silent. "We are having _pizza_!"

There was a moment of silence. Then...

"I want pepperoni." Tom said.

"Sausage!"

(Anchovies!)

"Anchovies? Extra cheese!"

"Vegetables!"

(Is there by any chance cinnamon bun flavored pizza?)

"Aaarrrgggghhhhhhh!!!!" Visser 1 screamed. 


	5. Operation Papa Johns

Visser 1 sat on the edge of her bed, breathing deeply. Occasionally, a thump or crash would manage to penetrate the closed door of the master bedroom, and she would grit her teeth and reach for the aspirin bottle on the dresser. Then Eva would sharply remind her that she had already consumed quite enough, and the hand would reluctantly return to her ears.

"Are you sure there isn't a phone in here?" Iniss said, flinging open the door. Visser 1 gave him a look that very plainly told him to get out or die, but he entered anyway.

Ordering pizza had turned out to be an unnaturally complex operation. It seemed to require that the house be turned upside down in search of a telephone, that the phone number of a nearby pizza place be located, that their address, city, country, and plane of existence be discovered, and that it all be done very, very loudly.

Iniss was flinging open drawers, all of which were mysteriously empty. "There's not much in this house. How did you find the aspirin?"

"Not very helpful." Visser 1 said, dodging the meaning of his question. "Especially when buffoons like you barge into the room, asking stupid questions that make me want to use my dracon beam."

Iniss, taking the subtle hint, backed out of the room. Ax pushed past him disdainfully and walked into the room.

"What are you doing in here, andalite filth?" She asked tolerably.

(Not that it is _any _business of yours, but I am attempting to triangulate our position, yeerk scum.) Ax said pleasantly. (I require a moderate amount of metal and possibly the satellite that is on your section of the roof. I would explain further, but I doubt your Helmacron-scale cerebral could handle it.)

"Ax, no!" Marco yelled from downstairs. "Not the satellite! Anything but the satellite!"

(It is primitive, but I believe it will serve its purpose.) Ax said, peering out the window.

"Dude, we get eight thousand channels!" Marco gasped, running up the stairs. "That is not worth something as mundane as food."

(Marco, I believe that it will not sustain any damage,) Ax said calmly. (There is a very good chance it can later be used for its original purpose.)

"We couldn't find a telephone." Jake entered the room, and Visser one pulled a pillow over her head.

Ax opened the window and skillfully sliced through the metal rod connecting the satellite to the roof. Unexpectedly, it started to slide towards the edge. Ax made a weak grab for it, but missed.

"Catch it!" Marco shrieked agitatedly, scrambling for the window. Jake grabbed him.

"We don't know if the window counts as outside." Jake said. Marco looked at him like he was an odd, squat, rabid, lint-eating alien.

"An eight thousand channel satellite is falling off the roof!" Marco exclaimed.

Jake paled. "Eight thousand channels?"

Visser 1 looked up. "Yes, eight thousand channels. Go, run to the front yard as quickly and quietly as you can and maybe you can catch it."

Jake bowed his head like his pet dog had just died. "We have -We have to leave it."

Ax looked disheartened as the satellite toppled off the roof. (Eight thousand channels of human television! What have I done?)

A loud thump and a crunch announced that the satellite had met its end. An enraged scream in thought-speak that resembled a bull announced what it had met its end upon.

(Who did that?) Visser 3 screamed. (WHO?)

(I can no longer determine what layer of reality we are currently in.) Ax said sadly.

"Ax-man, we just need to know what our address is." Marco said, deciding generously not to hate him forever.

(I suppose I could construct a radio-wave receiver.) Ax sniffed, clearly considering the task beneath him. (I believe that many radio announcers discuss the local news. I may be able to learn some vital information concerning our whereabouts.)

As they discussed the parts that Ax would need, the front door opened with a bang, and Visser 3 stormed up the stairs with a red, swollen stalk eye. (WHO DID THAT?)

Jake, Marco, and Ax all pointed at Visser 1, who looked shocked.

"Much as I would like to claim responsibility-" Visser 1 began, but Visser 3 launched himself at her without waiting for an explanation.

Jake, Marco, and Ax hurried from the room, crashing into Rachel. Rachel was holding Taylor's arm.

"Um…" Marco said. "Yeah. Care to explain?"

"This thing has a built-in communicator and tons of other circuits. I figured Ax could make a phone out of it." Rachel said, pointing to a small row of buttons on the top of the wrist.

"You sure that's not the keypad for a kamikaze bomb?" Marco asked.

(That would be a highly inefficient waste of space.) Ax laughed. (A standard yeerk explosion of that size would take out a small city. Most likely she would carry smaller, more confined explosives.)

"That's reassuring." Jake said wryly.

Ax started striking the layer of reinforced metal around the keypad with his tail blade, which gave way in flakes and chips. (I may be a while, Prince Jake.)

Tom walked past munching on a bagel. They all did a double take.

"Hey!" Rachel said as sweetly as possible. "Can we get some?"

"Nah, I poisoned the rest of them." Tom said conversationally. "You don't want to eat them."

"What?" Marco demanded bewilderedly.

"Or maybe I didn't poison them." Tom continued. "Or maybe I only poisoned some of them. I put them on the coffee table if anyone wants some."

He walked down the hallway, laughing to himself.

"Okay…we're going to have to watch out for him." Rachel said. The other three nodded.

(Prince Jake.) Ax said again. (This may take an incalculably long period of time to finish. Perhaps you should focus the other parts of Operation Papa Johns.)

"Operation Papa Johns?" Rachel asked. Marco shook his head, indicating that she really didn't want to know.

"Alright," Jake said, rubbing his hands together. "Ax is working on the telephone. So we need to know where on earth we are, and if we're even on Earth at all. An address would be preferable. We also need the number of a pizza place we could call."

(Preferably Papa Johns.) Ax added.

"Ax said something about a radio earlier." Marco said. "I'm sure we could find something resembling that."

"Good." Rachel said. "Maybe Ellimist and Crayak put a phone book in here somewhere."

Rachel raced off in search of a phone book, and Marco ran downstairs. "Hey, if you want to eat, help look for a radio."

He saw Taylor lying on the couch, eyes closed and her one arm dangling near the floor. Cassie and the girl were gently prodding and shaking her.

"Did one of you Animorphs do this?" the girl asked accusingly.

"I think Rachel might have had something to do with it." Marco said. "Why, is she dead?"

"No, just knocked out." Cassie said.

"Then I don't see what the problem is." Marco said. Cassie looked annoyed.

"Marco, the point of this is to learn to cooperate peacefully." She said.

"Whatever." He said dismissively. "Anyone happen to come across a radio?"

Whatever answer either of them had was interrupted, as Taylor rolled over and punched the girl in the stomach.

"Hey!" The girl gasped. "I'm on your side!"

"I don't care! Where's my arm?" Taylor screamed shrilly. With impeccably bad or good timing, a severed metal hand flopped down the steps. Ax trotted down after it.

"Andalite filth!" She screamed. Ax jumped, then futilely tried to hide to rest of her arm behind his back.

Taylor ran over and started beating weakly on his back. "You dumb andalite, give me back my hand NOW!"

Ax gallantly ignored her, scooping up the scattered metallic fingers. Taylor screeched and kicked at his leg.

(Please cease your-) Ax began, but then she sank her teeth into his weak andalite hand. (Ah!)

FWAPP!

"Ax!" Cassie cried.

Taylor slumped onto the ground, a red impression mark clearly visible on the side of her head.

(Do not worry, I merely knocked her out.) Ax muttered, nursing his hand. (Be glad that she is still in possession of her head.)

"We just got finished waking her up." Cassie said. She tried to sound calm, but a hint of impatience crept into her voice.

"I'm not all that fussed anymore, to tell the truth." The girl said from somewhere on the floor. Cassie and Marco helped her to her feet.

"So, the telephone is done, then?" Marco asked.

(Not yet.) Ax said tersely.

The girl looked at Ax suspiciously. "What are you doing with Taylor's arm?"

(It is none of your business, slug.) Ax said.

"Ax..." Cassie said warningly.

(But it is none of her business!) Ax said.

"He's making a telephone." Marco said. "We're trying to order pizza."

"What do you need a radio for?" The girl asked. Ax twisted his stalk eyes around, staring at her.

(Why are you asking so many questions?) Ax demanded. Cassie gave him a reproving glare.

"I'm hungry, too." The girl said simply, fighting against an instinctive inclination towards rudeness.

(Your _host _is hungry.) Ax said just as simply.

The girl closed her eyes for a few moments. When she next spoke, it was in a slow, controlled voice. "Cassie, can you ask the andalite if it is going to use all of those parts?"

(Cassie, tell the yeerk that-) Ax started, but Cassie held up her hand.

"Address each other, and not as 'it'. This is childish." Cassie said.

(Marco, tell the yeerk that these parts are mine.) Ax said.

"Marco, tell the yeerk that those are Taylor's!" The girl said.

(Marco, tell the yeerk that it can't have any!) Ax shrilled.

"Marco, tell the andalite that I'm making the radio!" The girl yelled.

(Marco, tell-) Ax was interrupted again.

"Guys, I'm with Cassie on this one." Marco said, plopping down on the couch and crossing his arms. "Work this out yourself."

"I'm perfectly capable of building a _radio_!" The girl said angrily. "_Taylor _could build a radio!"

"Hey, I can't build a radio." Marco said, looking alarmed. The girl and Ax both turned to him.

(You cannot?) Ax asked, hoping this was more human humor. The girl looked at him pityingly.

"Look, Ax, not everyone can just whip up a radio." Marco said defensively. Ax focused all four eyes at him.

(But- surely you must know how to construct a radio!) Ax exclaimed. (It operates upon the most basic principles!)

"I can't either." Cassie said.

"Lot's of humans can, though." Marco said. "Just none of the humans in this house."

(Hey, speak for yourself!) Tobias shouted from somewhere in the house, making them all jump. (I built one of those tiny radios that fit inside of a walnut shell. It may have come in a kit, with detailed instructions, but I built it.)

Ax did not look at all relieved.

"Hey, Ax, just let her make the radio." Marco said in a tired voice. "The two of you working-"

Cassie cut him off. "_Entirely separate_ will get the job done faster."

"The faster it's done, the faster we get Papa Johns." Marco added helpfully.

(Papa Johns.) Ax repeated dreamily. Looking at the girl as if she had _yamhput_, he slid some of the parts towards her. (Only this once, and only for Papa Johns.)

The girl sat down and picked them up like they were covered in dirt. "I didn't tell you to touch them."

However, she started connecting parts together, sitting as far away as possible.


	6. Operation Termination

_Rules are bent._

_The will of the two is resisted._

_Big Brother is watching._

_Always watching..._

Visser 3 strolled out off the master bedroom, feeling quite pleased with himself. Although he had failed to execute Visser 1, he had succeeded in bloodying her king-sized sheets very badly – with her blood, of course – and she couldn't find any clean ones. This made him feel inexplicably light-hearted.

Down the hallway, past the stairs, and around the corner. His spirits dropped a little as he entered his room, because it was still frilly and pink, and nobody had bothered to pick up the cotton fluff strewn all over the room. Oh well, he would make Iniss clean it up later.

Visser 3 suddenly wondered where the filth he was sharing the room with was at. He didn't particularly care where Iniss was, but if the two bandits were downstairs he might be able to booby trap the room or something. Then the yeerk empire would be one step closer to winning.

At least, he thought it would be. Visser 3 paused to do something he didn't often do: Think.

The all-powerful beings had only said that nobody was allowed outside, excluding himself, of course. Neither had specified any concrete conditions for victory. Maybe he hadn't heard them properly, or they hadn't gotten a chance to say anything else, since Visser 1 had started that argument. But it only stood to reason that killing the bandits would be an automatic win. Killing solved everything.

The old man had prevented the only bandit that was actually an andalite from cutting off Iniss' head. That was to stop Iniss from 'Losing the game before it even began'! Wonderful. He could morph his _Grak of Nitragle 7_ and end this game right now.

His skin began to crack and harden, like a blister. He felt his torso and hind legs growing rapidly, and his stalk eyes slurping into his sloping forehead. His main eyes dulled, his skin turned a rocky gray, and the floor miraculously held.

Wait. No.

Just as he was gearing up for his rampage, a horrible, terrible thought occurred to him. What if the andalite bandit had been the one who was about to lose the game before it even began? What if you _weren't_ supposed to kill? What if you _lost _when you killed?

(Aarrgh!) Visser 3 groaned. The mere idea of such a rule repulsed him. It just wasn't _fair_. Why couldn't he have waited until after he had killed the bandits to think of it? Then he would've known whether you lost or won, and killed the bandits to boot.

But now it was too risky. Visser 3 sighed again and started demorphing, his good mood ruined. Maybe Temrash or A-

Time froze. It did not make too much of a difference in the house, because Crayak and Ellimist allowed everybody to move. Crayak insisted on it, though, because it froze objects in midair and was good for dramatic effect.

There was a swirl of blue photons, and everyone not already in the living room was instantly transported there. A red mist wafted around their feet/hooves.

"What the-" Tom shouted. He was holding something small and metallic in his hand, and leaning forward as if he had been just about to stick it into something. His fingers quickly closed around it.

Ax, whom Crayak had teleported from one side of the living room to the other just to startle, curled his stalk eyes inward. (The flow of time has stopped.)

(I think that we all know that.) Visser 3 snapped.

"Nah, somehow I think it's just you two." Marco said sarcastically. "Although I do think we all know who's behind this."

A large red fireball shot down the chimney and landed in the fireplace, predictably setting the logs on fire. The red smoke that it produced swirled and formed itself into the shape of an eyeball.

Many of the yeerks looked shocked. Tom quickly tried to hide it, and Visser 1's carefully bored expression never flicked.

STOP TOYING WITH THE MORTALS.

Ellimist, in a slightly larger and more intimidating version of his old man disguise, walked in through the front door. He must have thought that this was easier for the yeerks to accept, but they looked even more shocked. Probably because when he walked through the front door, he forgot to open it.

**ELLIMIST, I HAVEN'T EVEN BEGUN TO TOY WITH THE MORTALS YET.**

The eye turned to look at Rachel, who seemed to wilt under its gaze. Ellimist wafted between them, and glared at the eye.

**FINE. IF I CAN'T ENJOY MYSELF, LET'S JUST GET ON WITH WHAT WE HAVE TO DO.**

"Which is..." Jake prodded.

**IT SEEMS THAT ELLIMIST HAS FAILED TO MAKE THE RULES COMPLETELY CLEAR.**

IF OUR GAME IS TO BE FAIR, THE RULES MUST BE LAID OUT PLAINLY FOR THOSE OF LESSER INTELLIGENCE.

(So where are these rules?) Visser 3 demanded, hoping the for the old man's sake that he wasn't referring to him.

**RIGHT HERE!**

The red fire leapt into the air, straight towards them all. They stumbled or fell backwards, except for Tobias, who had already been perched on the railing behind everyone else. Ellimist shook his head.

THE RULES ARE AS FOLLOWS: WHEN SOMEBODY LEAVES THE HOUSE OF THEIR OWN ACCORD, THE OPPOSING GROUP WILL RECEIVE A POINT. WHEN ALL OF ONE GROUP IS GONE, THE GROUP THAT HAS ACCUMULATED THE MOST POINTS WINS.

(Can we kill people?) Visser 3 asked hopefully.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE. BUT NO POINTS WILL BE AWARDED, SO THERE IS PROBABLY NO POINT.

Visser 3 cackled to himself. He thrived on pointlessness.

The red eye rotated and pointed itself at Ax and the girl, who winced.

**ELLIMIST AND I HAVE ISOLATED YOU FOR A REASON. CREATING DEVICES THAT COMMUNICATE WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF THE ISOLATION.**

THEREFORE, THE CREATION OF THESE DEVICES WILL NOW BE PUNISHED VERY SEVERLY.

**VERY SEVERELY.**

SO I RECOMMEND THAT YOU DO NOT CREATE ANY MORE OF THESE DEVICES.

The big red eye disappeared in a flash of red fire. Ellimist gave the girl a small wink and walked out through the door without opening it again.

The yeerks and Animorphs sort of stood around for a few moments. The red mist settled to the floor, coating it in a fine red powder.

"So..." Jake started, tried to find something to say, then just gave up.

(There will not be any Papa Johns, will there?) Ax sniffed.

"I guess not." Mr. Chapman said. "One of us is going to have to cook something."

"Spaghetti." Rachel said.

"Cheeseburgers." Taylor squealed. Nobody exactly knew when she had become conscious. Probably when Mr. Chapman had mention the word 'cook'.

"Pasta?" Cassie asked without any real hope.

(Aw, man! I forgot to ask Ellimist if I could go outside!) Tobias moaned.

"Bummer." Tom said without a hint of sympathy.

"Chicken." Marco declared. "Definitely. Although not fried, maybe barb-"

TSEEW! TSEEW! TSEEW! TSEEW!

Everyone quieted down, and turned to look at Visser 1. She was standing on the coffee table, holding a smoking dracon beam.

"You do realize that you've just shot through the ceiling, right?" Tom asked.

Visser 1 looked up at the blackened 2 foot hole in the ceiling. Little bits of exposed wiring poked out. She looked down at Tom haughtily.

"Yes." She said. "Yes, I do."

She turned her attention back to everyone else. "You've already wasted most of the night with your ridiculous operation Papa Johns. It is-"

(Eight o' clock.) Visser 3 interjected, uncharacteristically helpful.

(And operation Papa Johns was not ridiculous.) Ax bristled.

"It is eight o' clock, and you have nothing to show for it. It was ridiculous." Visser 1 continued. "Eat a doughnut, call it a night, and try something else tomorrow."

(Doughnut?) Tobias asked.

"In the dining room. On the table." Visser 1 said, looking at everyone's faces for any sign of recognition. "In a box. Nobody saw them earlier?"

"No." Rachel said, stepping closer to Visser 1. "Are they poisoned?"

"That," Visser one sneered, spinning her dracon beam for emphasis. "Isn't how I operate. Besides, why would I let Visser 3 and – Well, why would I let Iniss- Well, Temrash and, um – You're just going to have to trust me on this one."

Jake considered her for a moment.

"Not happening." He said, shaking his head.

"How would I obtain enough poison to contaminate an entire box of doughnuts when you can't even find a phone book?" Visser 1 asked.

(I do not know.) Ax said. (Perhaps the same way that you obtained the doughnuts and the dracon beam?)

"Believe me, she had that dracon beam when she came." The girl said, answering Ax's question but looking at a spot above his head. "She also had a dozen Hork-Bajir guards, but Crayak took them away. I don't know where she got the doughnuts from."

"Maybe if you were with your people instead of hanging around this filth." Tom muttered, so that only she could hear. "You'd know things."

The girl flushed, then glared at Tom.

"My loyalty," She whispered fiercely. "Is to the Vissers, and the empire that they represent."

"Shame." Tom said loftily, turning away without another word.

"What do you mean by that?" She hissed.

Tom ignored her, pretending that his attention was focused on the other yeerks and Animorphs squabbling over poison and doughnuts.

"Excuse me for trying to be polite, then." Visser 1 said icily, hopping off of the coffee table and heading for the stairs. "To be honest, you can all starve for all I care."

Taylor licked her lips and pranced into the dining room.

(I do not need your food, anyway.) Ax said, flicking his tail dismissively.

"That's the spirit, Ax." Jake said supportively. "Let's all just get some rest, and see what we can do about food tomorrow morning."

"Ooh, there are sprinkles in here!" Taylor squealed.

Ax's stalk eye twitched. Cassie took his hand and gently led him upstairs.


	7. Things That Go Bump in the Night

**A/N: So this is my first update in what seems like , and what basically was, forever. I'm nervous, so feedback will be deeply appreciated. Is it good? Is it bad? Is it funny? Is it IC? Have I been reading too much Terry Pratchett lately? Anyways, enjoy!!!!**

Creak…Creak…Creak…

Jake rolled over, snorted softly, and snuggled closer to his pink, heart-shaped pillow. A shape slipped past his bed in the darkness, working very hard against its nature to be quiet.

Creak…Creak…CREAK…

The shape paused, holding its breath, but a few moments of silence assured it that nobody had heard. After one more tense moment, which involved a squeaky doorknob and an uncooperative door frame, it slipped out of the room.

As soon as the door closed behind it, everyone in the room stopped pretending that they were asleep.

"Okay, what is Visser 3 up to?" Jake demanded, rolling the covers off of himself.

(Knowing him, nothing good.) Tobias said darkly. (He asked Crayak if killing was allowed earlier – What if he's off to off someone?)

"Or perhaps he went to get a midnight snack?" Iniss suggested, knowing fully that this was not the case.

"We follow him, just in case." Jake ordered.

"You know, Visser 3 always had a high metabolism." Iniss continued in the tone of voice that people who don't believe themselves use. "That guy is hungry _all_ the time."

Jake paid Iniss no attention at all and jumped out of bed. "Tobias, watch where the Visser goes, but be discreet about it. If he goes into another bedroom, wake up any Animorphs who are in there."

(Can do.) Tobias said. Jake moved to open the door to let Tobias out, but Iniss darted forward and grabbed his wrist.

"I _said_ that Visser 3 is just going to eat some grass." Iniss said, sounding about twenty times scarier than he usually did. The tight grip on his arm reminded Jake of the size advantage Iniss had over him. "Is that a _crime_, Mr. Berenson?"

Jake blinked, mildly surprised, and easily pushed away the ancient feelings of fear that this man used to conjure up as his vice principal. "Let go of me."

Iniss hesitated, realizing that the vice principal card wasn't working. You could almost see his confidence melt away.

"Okay, pleeeease don't follow Visser 3 or he's going to kill me!" Iniss begged. "He told me to stay here to watch you two. He also said he didn't want me burdening him at the secret yeerk meeting, but I think he mostly wants me to watch you!"

(Secret yeerk meeting?) Tobias exclaimed. (Jake, we have to check this out.)

"No, he'll kill me!" Iniss pleaded. His death was obviously a very emotional topic for him. "You know what he's like, please, I could inform you…I-I could help you, we could be partners or teammates or, or whatever you want -"

With one hard shove Jake knocked Iniss to the ground. By the time that he had recovered, Jake already had the door open.

"Find this meeting, scout it out, and report any information you hear." Jake said, with, in Iniss' opinion, a rather cold indifference for his life. Tobias bobbed his head and flapped his way out of the door.

Iniss glared daggers at Jake from the floor. Then, with as much dignity as he could muster, he raised himself to a standing position and glared daggers at him from there. Jake stared back, wondering if he should be in morph or something. To be completely honest, he hadn't actually considered how dangerous his situation was, due to the fact that Chapman had only exhibited wuss-like characteristics up until this point.

They both stood tensed, each examining the other. Iniss was only wearing boxers and a night cap (Neither Tobias nor Jake understood where it had come from), and Jake noticed the prevalence of thin, wiry hair on his legs, chest, and arms. Jake dutifully noted that this made most of his body a good grapple point, but fervently prayed that it didn't come down to fighting. Jake had worn just his morphing outfit to bed, and any fight between the two of them right now would involve too much bodily contact for comfort.

The tension continued on for what seemed like an eternity, until finally the bedroom door flew open and hit Jake in the back and in the head with an alarming amount of force. Jake flopped to the floor, convinced that some spinal and cranial damage had been inflicted.

"Jake, Tobias, do you know that Tom's gon-" Rachel yelled, then noticed Jake lying unmoving on the ground. "Ouch. So that's what I hit."

Jake made a feeble noise that was accompanied by an equally feeble twitch.

"I'm really sorry, Jake, it was your door frame. It's so uncooperative." Rachel said, dragging Jake to his feet. She then made the mistake of letting him go: Jake's legs were not quite ready to make the effort needed to support the rest of his body, and he collapsed on the floor again.

"Jake, this is important! Get up!" Rachel ordered. Some small part of Jake's brain attempted to navigate through the swimmy mixture of darkness and colors back to consciousness, but the rest of his brain wanted to lie there on the floor. Apparently Jake operated on democracy because he continued to lie there on the floor.

"Can't." Jake groaned. Iniss stared down at him.

"And what are you looking at, you slug?" Rachel snapped at Iniss. She inserted a few choice words between 'you' and 'slug'.

The already worked up Iniss snapped.

He lunged forward and tackled Rachel into the hallway. Rachel was caught so completely off guard that she didn't even struggle. Chapman bought his fist slamming into her mouth, spitting out with hatred a few choice words of his own. After a stunned millisecond, Rachel's warrior instincts kicked in, and she lashed out angrily. She missed her target by a few inches and hit the inside of his thigh, but still made him jump enough to get one of her arms free, which she used to block his next hit.

"What in the hell, Iniss?" Visser 1 demanded, exiting from her bedroom. She was the type of person who you did not want to wake up before noon.

Ax plowed past Visser 1 in the doorway, not even bothering to ask questions. With an intense look of concentration - the type of look were his tounge would have been poking slightly out of his mouth if he had one – he shoved his tail between the two combatants. Iniss received a slight gash to his right arm, but everyone was otherwise in one piece.

(Rachel, what happened?) Ax demanded, flipping Iniss against the wall as if his tail was a spatula and Iniss was a hamburger. Now that only a yeerk was concerned, Ax was no longer being careful with the blade. In fact, it was carelessly close to Iniss' neck.

"That little prick attacked me!" Rachel snarled. Blood dripped from her split lip. "I mean, _he_ attacked _me_. _HE_ attacked _ME_!"

With each 'he' and 'me' Rachel made a dramatic gesture towards the appropriate person, sounding as if she still couldn't believe it.

(Shall I kill him?) Ax asked tersely.

"I think not." Visser 1 said, interrupting Rachel's answer.

(Why not?) Ax said. (You do not have your dracon beam.)

"Actually, I do…" Visser 1 said sweetly and condescendingly, patting her thigh. "But I'm not threatening you. I'm offering you a deal."

"What? You have nothing to offer!" Rachel exclaimed. "Ax, kill him!"

Iniss, whose confidence was at least temporarily shot, whimpered.

"I could care less if Iniss lives or dies." Visser 1 said. "That's my strength…I could care less about a lot of things. But you Animorphs do care, and if I'm not mistaken you two especially care a lot about a certain hawk."

Rachel couldn't keep her look of rage from changing to a slightly different look of rage, and Visser 1 noticed.

(What does Tobias have to do with this?) Ax demanded, although he sounded unsure of himself. (I could kill both of you disgusting creatures and he would be unaffected.)

"But if you killed me, I wouldn't be able to tell you that 'Tobias' is flapping his way straight into a trap." Visser 1 said, sounding like she was mildly enjoying herself. "Visser 3 arran- "

"What? He's in that room!" Rachel exclaimed. She peered over Jake's inert form. "Tobias! Dammit, where is he?"

"Do not. Ever. Interrupt me." Visser 1 informed Rachel. After a silent, chilly moment to make sure that she got her point across, Visser 1 continued. "Visser 3 arranged a secret meeting to go over our game strategy. I myself realized that Visser 3's meeting would not be secret for long, due to his innate loudness and the bird's amazing hearing, and decided to utilize the not-so-secret meeting as a trap. Right now, Tom is laying in wait to capture your friend. He was all for throwing him out of the house forcefully, but that wouldn't be 'of his accord', like the beings who are running this game said. So I instead suggested that we threaten to kill him if the rest of his team members wouldn't leave the house. Amazing plan if I do say so myself."

"The house isn't that big, we can find this meeting place!" Rachel said.

"Don't you wonder where I got the doughnuts from? Or where Iniss got that ridiculous cap from?" Visser 1 asked. "You tore the house apart with your retarded Operation Papa Johns, and if you haven't found it by now you never will."

(Where is Tobias?) Ax demanded sharply.

"Release Iniss." Visser 1 demanded just as sharply and with more authority. Ax reluctantly lowered his tailblade, and a shaking Iniss staggered behind Visser 1.

(Now give us Tobias' location or I will have no reason not to kill you.) Ax snapped.

"There is always this reason." Visser 1 said, pulling out her dracon beam and pointing it at Ax. "But I'll tell you because I think that I deserve to see Visser 3 fight for his life tonight."

Visser 1 reached into her hair and pulled out a key. "This will get you into the garage and to your little bird friend. I'd say that you have about seven minutes before Tom gets impatient and goes ahead with his plan of throwing the bird out of the house. Do we really know what will happen? And that seven or so minutes is minus the four I just spent elaborating on my plan."

Rachel darted forward and snatched the key from her hand.

"I am going to kill you before all of this is over, you twisted little slug." Rachel hissed.

"Make sure to bring back my key, or I won't hesitate to suffocate you in your sleep." Visser 1 said calmly as if she hadn't heard what Rachel said. "And, fyi, your friends in the other room are probably incapacitated at the moment, so don't count on them for help."

Ax used both hands to grab one of Rachel's shoulders, before she did something violent. (Marco and Cassie can take care of themselves, but somebody must watch after Prince Jake.)

"I'll be fine." Jake spoke up suddenly. His tone of voice indicated that he probably wasn't going to be. "Save Tobias."

Rachel backed away from Visser 1, sneering, and then turned to sprint after Ax down the stairs.

(This will be difficult.) Ax said tensely, taking the stairs four at a time.

Rachel snorted. She wasn't anywhere near beat yet. "Let's do it."


	8. The Girl

_One by one, the dominoes continue to fall,_

_Fulfilling their role in a masterpiece of psychological manipulation._

_How? Why? Those are irrelevant. The real question is…who?_

"Ow! Owie owie owie ow!" Taylor whimpered in pain. This was because a large gorilla currently had her in a headlock. "Owowowow - ow!"

Marco tightened his grip a little bit. (So tell us again why you suddenly jump up in the middle of the night and decide to attack us.)

"Visser 1 – ouch – told me to!" Taylor whimpered. "I was only following orders!"

Marco didn't really care. The events of the night were still vivid in his mind, and it left him in no mood to be reasonable. First, he hadn't enjoyed the bed situation as much as he thought he would have. The girl had wanted the left side of the bed, hogged all of the sheets, and, worst of all, snored. _Snored_. How the heck could such a cute nose be the producer of such a horrible, horrible noise?

And then, just as he was finally drifting off to sleep, the two yeerks attacked him. The one girl had grabbed him around the middle and tried to throw him on the floor, and Taylor had suddenly come flying out of the darkness at him like somebody's nightmare. If Cassie hadn't managed to somehow morph wolf in about half a seconds and fight them off, he would probably be dead right now.

The girl was trying her best to convince them all that this was not the way it happened.

"Yes, Taylor was following orders, but I wasn't!" The girl argued, sound a little muffled from underneath the bulk of Cassie's wolf.

(But you got the same orders she got, didn't you?) Marco demanded.

"Yes, but I wasn't going to follow them." The girl said. "Cassie, this is ridiculous. You know who I am and what I told you."

(I know who you are.) Cassie said slowly, sounding unsure. (I also know that you told me that Taylor was probably going to attack us tonight. But you didn't mention that it was a part of some big scheme of Visser 1's.)

"You know what position I am in." The girl muttered quietly. "I told you as much as I thought I could get away with."

(Okay what's the deal here? Cassie, who is this?) Marco snapped, feeling as if he was missing something. (She told you that Taylor was going to attack tonight? That doesn't make any sense. What sort of advantage would that give the yeerks for us to know about their attack?)

(Marco, you have to understand that it's not that clean cut.) Cassie said, turning her head to him. (It's not black and white, this or that. She has her own motives and they might not match up with the yeerks motives.)

(Cassie, we're playing for the fate of our respective species here.) Marco sighed. (Of course her motives are the same as her teams. If the yeerks lose, she dies along with the rest of her species. Why would she help us win?)

"There are some things worth dying for." The girl said.

Taylor looked confused, but Marco got it after only a few moments.

(Aftran.) He said neutrally.

"Yes." She said. She had told Cassie, because she knew she could be trusted. Marco - Well, he hadn't killed her when he had the chance, but he wasn't high on her 'list of people to tell things to' either.

This affirmative answer only served to confuse Marco more. (Someone better tell me what's going on here.)

"Marco, you know how I feel about dominating other species, let alone the universe." Aftran said softly. "I don't want the yeerks to win, but I can't betray my species either. Like Cassie said, I'm not completely on the Animorph's side or the Yeerk's."

Marco nodded understandingly. (That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.)

Aftran looked offended.

(Look, there are only two outcomes to this twisted little game.) Marco explained. (Either the yeerks win and take over everything, or the Animorphs win and the yeerks are eradicated forever. The two events are mutually exclusive. Eventually you're going to be forced to choose, and it will be better for all of us if you decide sooner rather than later.)

(Marco, that's just cynical.) Cassie said. (It's not that simple, I know it's not.)

"Uhh!" Taylor wailed, straining in vain against Marco's grip. "Let go, let go, let go!"

(Fat chance, slug.) Marco snapped. The he said, (Hey, hey, ow! Are you biting me?)

"Mm-Hmm!" Taylor growled, shaking her head back and forth in an attempt to do some damage. Marco pinched the bridge of his nose with annoyance.

(Give it up. You're not even breaking the skin.) Marco suggested.

Taylor's jaw remained doggedly clamped onto his arm.

"Listen, Visser 3 scheduled a secret yeerk meeting in the garage." Aftran muttered. "Visser 1 wanted to turn it into a trap for all of you."

(If it's a secret yeerk meeting, how were we supposed to know about it?) Marco demanded. (Did Visser 1 instruct you to say this? She wants us to walk right into her trap, knowing it's a trap, but thinking we have to save someone.)

"No, she expected you to be subdued by Taylor." Aftran said. Taylor looked over at her, and Aftran quieted down again. For extra measure, Marco stuffed Taylor's head into his armpit so her ears would be covered. "She doesn't expect you to be there."

(Then who is she trying to trap?) Cassie asked, interrupting Marco before he could ask the same question in a ruder way.

"I'm not sure." Aftran whispered. "But-"

(Let me finish for you.) Marco said. Taylor, who was not enjoying herself, began flailing wildly. (She's luring someone to the garage and either plans to kill them or throw them out of the house.)

"Throw them out of the house?" Aftran sounded puzzled.

(It's occurred to me that you may not have to leave the house under your own power for us to receive points.) Marco admitted. (I'd bet my right arm Visser 1 thought of it too.)

(I don't think the game works like that.) Cassie disagreed. (Then it would come down to fire power, and I don't think that's what Crayak and Ellimist intended.)

(I know.) Marco said. (It would be too simplistic for them. Still, all night I had the strongest urge to throw her – Aftran, I mean - out of the window, just to see.)

Aftran valiantly ignored this comment. "You know, some of your teammates are in serious danger right now."

Something Aftran said earlier registered with Marco. (Wait, did you say we have a garage?)

"Well, yes." Aftran said. "But that's not the point. The point is -"

(The point is that you knew that we had a garage and we didn't.) Marco said.

(I think the point is that one of our teammates, somebody we care about, is walking into a trap right now.) Cassie said, agreeing with Aftran.

"Past tense." Aftran said dryly. "As in, one of your teammates has walked into a trap, probably a few minutes ago. While you were talking about things that could have easily been discussed at a later time."

(Haha. Funny.) Marco growled. But he got the message. (Cassie, let's go.)

Cassie leapt nimbly off of Aftran's back. Marco grabbed her by the back of her shirt and hauled her into the air.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Aftran yelped.

(Seeing as you're not completely on the yeerk's side, I'm not going to hurt you.) Marco said. (But seeing as you're not completely on our side either, I think you need to be put into a safe place.)

Marco transferred Taylor to the same hand as Aftran, and pulled open the bedroom door. Cassie raced out into the hallway, and Marco loped after her.

(What are you doing with her?) Cassie asked concernedly.

As a response, Marco yanked open the nearly empty coat closet and flung Taylor and Aftran bodily inside.

"You little-" Taylor screeched, before the door slammed in her face. There was a scrabbling sound as she felt around for the nonexistent inside door handle.

(Was that petty display of power really necessary, Marco?) Cassie asked rhetorically.

(Oh, hold on.) Marco opened the closet door again. Taylor tried to dive past him, but he grabbed her just above her arm stump and sent her twirling back inside. (Where'd you say the garage was again?)

"Why should somebody 'not completely on your team' tell- " Aftan began angrily. Marco fixed her with his best lethal gorilla stare.

"Erm-" Aftran faltered. "The door in the kitchen that looks like a pantry. But you need a key-"

(Thanks.) Marco said, and slammed the door. He turned, and began making his way down the staircase. As soon as he could clear the railing without smashing against the ceiling, he jumped over it and landed on the living room floor.

Cassie sprinted after her him at full wolf speed, taking the last few steps in a single bound. (Don't we need a key?)

(Theoretically.) Marco said in a carefully grim voice.


End file.
